Judith B Miller

Author, Coach, Inspirational Speaker, Mapusha Supporter

Speak, Speak Up, Speak Out and Then Do it Again

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I remember it clearly—my surprise and growing sense of horror.

Somehow my mother being unable to speak honestly to her doctor of many years awoke in me a deeper understanding of how I was raised. She wouldn’t speak that day about all the problems and discomforts with her heart, her appetite, her body.

I had accompanied my mother, who was in her 90’s, to the doctor. He had been her doctor for years, knew her well, was a caring and careful man yet that day, when he asked how she was, she smiled with awkward shyness and replied, “Just fine.”

I realized that, I, too, wasn’t raised to speak my truth. Continue Reading

There is Empty and There is Empty

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Of late I have been deep in the realms of ‘empty’ due to the death of a dear friend and the loss of a relationship with a man to whom I was wide open.

Happily, I am beginning to understand the grace of empty, the space it creates, the opportunity to dance in the unknown.

As I grieved my losses, I was also busy researching for a Tedx Talk I am preparing. It’s on the nature of hope. I’ve been writing and talking for a while about the wonders that occur when hope is merged with action. It’s a central theme in my book about my experiences in South Africa with the Mapusha Weaving Cooperative. Still, for the Ted talk, I wanted to know what others had to say on the matter.Continue Reading

Go Wide

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One evening, when I was in my highly dramatic 20’s trying to explain my latest upset to an introverted housemate, he took me by the arm and walked me over to the window. He gestured to the sky and said simply,

“Look at the sky. Go wide.“

I use this same trick in these turbulent days…
I did as he asked and stared up at the wide night sky. I don’t remember if it was clear or cloudy on that Boston night. What I do remember is how my mind slowed down and my head seemed to soften, open, expand upwards and outwards.

I use this same trick in these turbulent days when I read the paper or listen to NPR and find myself tightening, pulling in and putting up walls.

“Go wide,” I tell myself. “Go wide.”

It isn’t always the sky, though that often works on these sunny, summer-Portland days. Sometimes it is reaching for a sense of the larger arc of time, the big picture, the continual ebb and flow of life.
Happy wedding dancers
Or I think of the next generation. And the next. Attending my beloved niece’s, beyond-wonderful wedding, I got to experience a passel of bright and vivacious 30-somethings. They made me smile for our future.

I smile, soften and go wide as I watch my nephew teaching his three-year-old daugter to be kind to her young sister, to marvel at the blueberries, to rescue a dying caterpillar from the porch. Continue Reading

Naked Love, Defiant Courage, Salty Grace

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It was a rough week for Portland and me after two brave men were killed standing up to a bully on the MAX transit line just blocks from my home.

As has been the case too often of late, I had to scramble to find a way to keep my heart soft and my hopes high. It is so tempting to either rage or simply shut down against the daily dark news but it doesn’t really help, does it?

Two things galloped to my rescue—
a photo and a quote.

The photo from the local paper was taken at the vigil held the day after the murders. Here was the mother of one of the slain heroes kneeling with a radiant smile beside a young Muslim girl wearing a hijab. Continue Reading